3 Tips in Dealing with Toxic People
“If anyone criticizes you in your presence, you should give up any desires or thoughts of the lay life. If that happens, you should train like this: ‘My mind will be unaffected. I will blurt out no bad words. I will remain full of compassion, with a heart of love and no secret hate.’ That’s how you should train.” -the Buddha-
Toxic people are simply the people, when hang out with, who drain your energy. They expire you instead of inspire you. They can be people you are living with or other people in your life cycle. It may not be an ideal to remove some toxic people our of your life completely especially people who are closed you.
Here are some tips of how to deal with them:
Develop right view: understand them (wisdom is about understanding and be able to accept and let go) the mind will be liberated if we need understand. Reflecting on those people and situations . Investigate the cause of that behaviors why people acting like that. They may be having a hard time in their lives, financial program, health program, alcoholic, relationships etc.
Adjust your attitude & expectation towards them: we cannot expect the broken radio to play like non-broken radio right! Chang inwardly, not outwardly. In the reality, we can not change people and have no control over anybody. Let them be who they are . We Cannot fight anger with anger. Turn them to be an object of observation. Learn something from what happens in front of you. once understood, we may not have to be patient at all.
Practice loving kindness & compassion: We are all considered ignorance beings. We make mistake from time to time both intentionally and unintentionally. No one wants to get hurt or want to be bad. Their toxic behaviors imply that they have an unhealthy mind. This fact need to be recognized and understood. Practicing loving kindness and compassion help strengthen our peace of mind and maintaining peaceful relationship with those toxic people around you.
In short, with mindful and wise reflection, it will change our view and attitude which leads to peace and happiness of mind.
